Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Update on the 20...I Think I Broke His Heart

So I am getting asked about the guy I meet back in December who was supposed to have left earlier these month for California. Well as the use of the past tense verb in the previous sentence suggest, he didn't leave. Which is a good thing on his part but moving on to "us." Well here it goes...a few weeks ago I shared with him my feelings about the progression of "us." I told him I wanted to slow down and get back to some important things in my life I started slowed started to neglect when he came in my life. It was not an act of selfishness but one of love....for myself. I started to notice how infrequent I did things that I purposely placed in my life for balance, self-awareness, and joy. My attitude changed. I was getting frustrated by things when normally I would not even give that thing the time of day! Most importantly my lack of actions was getting noticed by the people I love, family and friends.

Now dude is a good dude, but like us all he got baggage and issues that I can't help him with. Things he gotta deal with on his own. The same with me. Nobody can make the actions you need to help you; you gotta do the footwork!

So that is where it is. We talk every now and then. We really don't "kick-it" strong like we did in the beginning. All of the choices I made I'm cool with.

Though he say he is too, his actions show otherwise....he is real short with me now. Like if he calls me...yes if he calls me and I ask a simple question like "have you spoken to so-in-so?" He instantly snaps out! His body language has changed and everything. Believe me, you know when something is up!

So I think I really hurt him, though his man pride is refusing to be real about it. I think he really likes me and was hoping "us" would evolve into something more. But at this point, I don't want more.

So I'm thinking I might have to totally cut loose.

It only takes one to start a revolution.............

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