I am confident God sends those you need with the most fitting words of encourage at exactly the right time. Em told me that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.
It's no secret that I have been in a a challenging part of my journey these past 7 months. Being unemployed has been a true testament of my very being. To say I have cried and then cried and then cried is not enough to share how all parts of this moment in my journey has impacted me. And to hear those words, I literally stopped in my tracks.
How can this be right where I am supposed to be? This moment....this moment. Like really? Am I supposed to be in this right now? Why? How? When it this going to end??? I have asked these questions several times to no clear answer. And at this point I don't think I will get a verbal response. And if I am honest, I am not sure if I can handle the response. Yet what I do know, trouble don't last always. Moments are just that...moments. They come in this journey to strengthen, to purge, to recreate, to enlighten, and to heal. This moment is no different.
And if I am honest, before this moment, I had not been doing a great job of taking care of me. I was not aligned to my center....I had taken God off the throne of my heart and made my journey totally about me in a not so good way. I was hurt...so many self-inflicted wounds. Wallowing in doubt, being let by frivolous material gains and just walking/running/crawling toward whatever open door I could see. Even if that open door was no good for me.
So yes, I am now exactly right where I am supposed to be. Learning to be great at being me. Learning continuous growth is the key. I am not who I was when 7 months ago, or even 2 weeks ago. I gained some clear insight about myself (thank you Naj!) forgave myself and realized that I am blessed. So blessed. Even in this moment I have had all my needs met. God is truly faithful. And I am grateful. Teary eyed yet grateful.
While this moment will define this chapter, it's only one chapter. A brief history. Only a small portion of the beautiful being that is becoming me.
