Friday, July 24, 2009

Headed to ATL

The day has finally come for me to head to ATL. I'm sooo excited to see my daddy and my step-mom. I try to make it down there at least once a year. I know that seems so long between visits but hey we are in a recession. And besides I really only like to fly. Sit back relax and one hour and 45 minutes later we are in ATL. If I were to drive it like 11 hours...9 hours too long!!! But I'm excited about going. My BFF is going to. She just so happens to be engaged to my cousin and it is going to be the first time we are travelling together. The only time I really get to travel is in the summer because of work. Besides who like to take a trip only to take work with you and come back to more work!!

Though I'm uber (a step above super) excited about going I am still a little sadden. Old Flame does care about me going but he knows this is like my "last" trip for a while and he wanted to see me again before I go back to work. I'm trying to work my schedule to take one more trip before I head back to work on the 17th. It's gonna be tough. And I may have to bring work with me, which is never a pleasure. But I guess I will have to make it work if I do decide to go see him.

On the other hand, my lame a** laptop crashed again. Yes last summer the hard drive crashed and it has happened again! I can't decide if I want to get it fixed again or chalk it up to the game and purchase a new one. Cost effectiveness tells me it may be cheaper to have it repaired than buy a new one. But I can see the custom one right now. Me clicking away on the keys working out the details of this new book idea I got. I really got two concepts that I desperately need to get on paper. The information is swirling in my head the vanilla has mixed with the chocolate and its coming together but I gotta get it out. Why is "turning" the handle the hardest part??? I got this "stuff" in my creative mind and I don't take the time to get it out!! I'mma mess. I know that writing is a gift from God but I have not had the passion to pursue it like I used to. There's a big disconnect somewhere and I have yet to find it. Maybe this vaca will help to refocus on what I really want to do. I honestly believe my wealth is tied into my writing. Though I love teaching I have yet to meet the millionaire teacher!!!! LOL

At any rate I'm off!!! Maybe I'll come back with pics from the A! Deuces for about a week or so!

Monday, July 13, 2009

Can You Stand the Rain?

Yeah I know the title of another song. But this time it's not Mint Condition. It's New Edition. BTW they was the bomb on the BET Awards! Even BBD put it down! Okay back to the I just got done talking to Old Flame and he was so excited that even though he was not in the best of moods talking to me managed to make him feel better. I smiled when he said this. To me what's the point of the conversation if it can't be personable, ya know?? I mean I don't think I told him anything special. I just reminded him that it will rain from time to time in our life; it's supposed to. But I'm in his corner and no matter what it is I'm hear to listen and support. He says that I'm the only woman who has never judged him and who really sees him for who he really is...I was so touched when he said those words.

That's what I'm here for, right? I mean the point of being in a relationship or building any relationship for that matter if you can't find solace and comfort in know that when it pours you have someone to hold the umbrella as you wonder to and fro? Honestly we all need somebody and I'm happy I could be that person for him. Today's conversation made he realize why I am falling in love with him. He is so transparent. He let's me see him as he is and he is not ashamed of the mistakes he has made because the are an instrumental part of the man he has become. I think that is such a rarity and I love it. It makes for real conversation and generally great communication. I don't mind getting wet with him on my side.......

On a perfect day I know that I can count on you.
When that's not possible, tell me, can you weather the storm?
Cause I need somebody who will stand by me.
Through the good times and bad times
she will always, always be right there.
Sunny days, everybody loves them, tell me baby can you stand the rain?
Storms will come, this we know for sure.
Can you stand the rain?
Love unconditional--I'm not asking this of you
And girl to make it last I'll do whatever need to be done.
But I need somebody who will stand by me.
When it's tough she won't run.
She will always be right there for me.
Sunny days everybody loves them
Tell me baby can you stand the rain? Can you stand it?
Storms will come, I know, I know all the days won't be perfect.
This we know for sure, But can you stand it?
Can you stand the rain?
Can you stand the rain?
Can you stand the rain? No pressure, no pressure from me baby.
Cause I want you, and I need you, and I love you girl.
Tell me baby can you stand the rain?
Will you be there for me?
Come on baby let's go get wet.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Meant to be Mint

So I have always talked about my love for Mint Condition...the BEST band in the world, and yesterday Old Flame called me so I could listen to one of his fav songs and it just so happen to be Mint Condition's Nothing Left to Say on their most recent album, E-life, by the way is an independent release. He is into producing music and he loves the concept of the song. As he played it I mouthed the words, I know them all on this cd and the last one too, Livin' the Luxury Brown. Listening to the song I realized I really love the fact that we vib on a lot of things. Stealing a from my fav band, I believe we are meant to be.....

Sunday, July 5, 2009

I'm Ready

At this very moment I have come to the conclusion that I'm ready. Yeah it's a lovely thing to be ready. I'm ready to love, to be responsible, to take ownership of all my past errors, and present short comings, to give, to receive, to listen, to be heard, to stop running and face my fears in all their forms, to walk into my destiny with no restraints, become the woman God created me to be, to create the written work God gave me on paper for the word to read.....

I'm ready for all ready has to offer......

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Still Working it Out...

I wish I was still working out as in exercising! While I kinda still do. I walk every morning for at least an hour. It's not just a causal walk either. A very brisk walk. It def makes me sweat! And then a feel much better afterwards. But the work I'm talking about is work! This newsletter is getting tedious. The editing portion is a lot of work. My eyes get tired and then I just wanna stop. Then I realize that I gotta deadline.

But I guess it pays off! I gotta adjunct faculty position at the local community college. It's only one class but it's a start. I gotta get my feet in the door. I'm one step closer to reaching my goal of teaching full-time at the college level. I'm giving myself two years and then it's off to a new started so I can begin to pursue my doctoral degree.

Things are still going well with the Old Flame. In fact I just got done talking to him. He is planning another trip down to see me next week. I'm getting excited about seeing him. The distance really makes you more excited to see someone. It's funny because my older cousin is in a long distance relationship and we are always talking about it. His girlfriend lives very close to me and we have been hanging out lately and getting to know each other. If I was at any other juncture in my life, my early twenties or even mid twenties, I don't think that I would be able to handle this relationship. It takes a lot of patience and a lot of talking. I mean a lot of talking. So many things get lost in translation. To talk with someone face to face means sooo much. Facial expressions, slight gestures, and other body language mean so much. And besides I love looking at his body....oops that's another post! But this relationship is really making me. By that I mean it is really showing my true characteristics and also exposing some areas that I want to work on.

Patience is not my thing! I have a hard time waiting for some things, when I want to see him, I want to see him. The fact that I can't see him every day makes it that much more difficult and the need for patience arises! Patience comes into play with certain topics of conversation as well. For instance today he talked about his car! OMG I have no clue about cars. But I so had to pretend that I was interested. An occasional, "oh" and "really." Then I would drop, "babe what does that do?" LOL I was totally not in the conversation. I was hearing him talk but I was so not listening. So I need conversation patience too! Now don't get me wrong, every conversation doesn't have to go my way....that's why I need conversation patience!!! So I'm still working it out! summer goals...well they are still goals!