Monday, January 19, 2009

Responsibility of Woman

One of my idols, yes I have idols, Mary J. Blige has a song entitled, Feel Like a Woman.

I want you to rescue me.Take me from this misery.Put your arms around me bay.Hold me close, please hear me say.(Ohh)You really gotta hold on me.(You do)Right here is where I wanna be.(With you)Boy, there's something I want you to do.Cause tonight I wanna...

Chorus:]Feel like a woman. (I don't wanna compete)

(I just wanna be the only girl that you need)

Feel like a woman. (Boy, I want you to be everything to me)

(Don't wanna be deceived)

Feel like a woman. (I don't wanna fuss and I don't wanna cuss)

(I just wanna feel the love from both of us)

Feel like a woman. (Now I only wanna do what you tell me to)

(Won't you show and prove)

Feel like a woman.

That is only a snippet of the of the lyrics but you get the point. But my question is does a woman really want to man to make her feel like a woman??? Seriously?? Think about it for a long minute. In a modern world where the modern woman is "independent" and proudly proclaiming "I don't need a man" does the modern woman really want a man to make her feel like a woman?

I had this conversation with my cousin, Mookie, last night and he is baffled at the fact that most Black women say they want a good man but they reject the good ones to keep the bad ones! This conversation got me to thinking, what is the responsibility of the woman? Does a black woman really want a man?
I have come to the conclusion that Black women have been shorting themselves....hear me out now. We say we want a good black man but we are not prepared to be that woman that the black man needs. Society has already placed so much pressure on the black man and he needs a woman who will support him not question his manhood. I know many of you are not willing to go here with me, but at least hear me out. The black family has been totally destroyed. Children are growing up without a vital start...having both parents in the home. It is important to have both parents because it creates a structure that gives birth to more structure. But with only one parent it is hard for the child to understand how a family is supposed to be. Girls grow into women who think that they have to be everything and do everything and find it hard to let a man really be a man and be the end of the household. Boys grow into men who have no clue how to be the head and be a man cause they had to example of manhood.
So what do we do? Once we know there is a problem then we must to work to change the family structure. As black women we must begin to look inward and ask ourselves do we know how to be a woman? Not just independently take care of yourself but allow someone to take care of you. This may mean to keep the peace by not questioning your man. Allow him to make the decision and support him even if doesn't work out as well as planned. Take the side seat by being the supporter and helping him shine in all he does. That's being a virtuous woman---making sure your man is the talk of the town cause he has everything all together. There is no simple over night remedy to the issue. It's a deep one that may be causing us our life. So we really gotta stop pointing the finger at our white sisters for "stealing" own men and take a look at what is going on within!
I didn't write this be be popular or cause a uproar...I'm just speaking my mind. Giving my take on the issue. If you disagree, I'm cool with that.
It only takes one to start a revolution....


  1. Wow. Your thoughts are a breath of fresh air in these times, but you are not alone. I'm finding more and more black women writing blog posts very much like yours. And it's just great. You all are very wise and truly putting the emotional health of your children over your own interests. I wish more women realized the truth behind your words. God bless you.

  2. Alex, thanks for the comment! I appreciate your honesty. Though I don't have children yet, I am firm believer of preparation. The future is right around the corner.

  3. Hey Hey Lady thank you for an awesome blog. From your blog and previous conversations I feel you charging us women to become wiser to the cause...the cause of growing a nation, from boy to man. Women can be strong through our courage to step aside and follow, embrace, love and be a faithful helpmate. Now if you not saying that let me know lol.
    But also, today was a very special occasion for the world, the introduction of a new U.S. President. With all that being said, you last response to brother Alex triggered something and if I may I would like to show you/tell wiser in being a lady and..

    The future is right around the corner.

    Is it so?
    Fo sho it is.
    No no, can it be, the future quickly approaching
    Im afraid so
    So it is today that we must plan
    Yesterday is gone
    But the future is around the corner.
    Plan today so we may have a tomorrow

    Today I learned dreams come true
    Ive been living my dream
    Yet morning comes and im gently awakin
    See dreams do come true
    For today my heart is engaged
    And the pitter patter is lingering
    Today you see my dream
    The future was around the corner

    Is it so
    Fo sho it is
    Tomorrow will be greater
    I will be wiser
    Yesterday is gone and history has been made
    So it is, I request more dreams come true
    And now we know it possible
    Fo sho, cause the future is around the corner

  4. Thanks Lady for the comments! I really LOVE your words! Thanks for sharing! Please don't be a stranger! Stop by and read away!!!

  5. Hey there, Tiffany Nicole! This right here ..."Girls grow into women who think that they have to be everything and do everything and find it hard to let a man really be a man and be the end of the household." is my main argument when it comes to this topic. As one who grew up with both parents, I don't want to shortchange any life I bring into this world. My mom always taught me to be independent in spite of because you never know.

    This is a good post full of great insight :-).