Tuesday, March 6, 2012

The Chronicles of a FAT Girl

It is a taboo subject among many. A shameful subject that causes side glances and long stares. So here I am to debunk all rumors and dispel all myths. Yes I am fat and I know it! I have been since like 2nd grade. Don't you think that I look at myself in the mirror everyday?? Don't you think I see the size on my clothes when I buy them?? Honestly, I see this body every single day and I know it better than anyone ever will.

 Yes I know I'm fat. And I don't need anyone to remind me of that fact. Random comments and long stares do nothing to encourage me to make healthier life choices. Just because my issue is more prevalent and  visible than others doesn't give anyone a license to judge or assume. Remember when you point out my spec, don't miss that plank in yours. My decision for a healthier lifestyle must come from me, yes me. I have to put in the work to make it happen.

Yes I know my weight is a problem. And the question becomes--why haven't I done anything about it???
Great question. And I don't fully know the answer to it. But I do know that I believe it is symptomatic of other issues I have dealt with in my life's early journey. Being the woman I am now, I know that my unhealthy habits have got to change. I do desire to live a long beautiful life and enjoy this journey God has given to me. But I can't do it in my current shape. I do know discipline is necessary key in the equation.

Yes I do know I am beautiful. Though my external being may not be what I want it to be, my worth is an internal source. My outlook on life, my personality, and my character are from the inside out. It has taken me years to learn this beauty of life-growth from the inside--but it is one we all would benefit from. I love the woman I have become and these 32 years have been nothing short of a blessing.

Being overweight is something we have stigmatized as equivalent to worthless when in all reality it is no different than any unhealthy behavior one may have. In no way am I making an excuse for my bad habits or the bad habits of others.  But what I want to do is dispel the judgment factor. We judge, condemn, and then lay ambush for our brother or sister with the words of our mouth. Every person, every being has value and deserves to be treated as such. If we took this approach to holistic health maybe, just maybe the quality of health in our lives would improve.

Yes we need to do better to improve our health, this I can't or won't deny nor cover it up. But what I won't do is dehumanize my fellow man no matter his battle.

I'm not looking for sympathy. Let it be known that I am not walking about in a state of delusion. I am not lying to myself that I am healthy and I will be okay. I know the present condition of my issue; I have accepted the truth and know I must do something.



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