Monday, September 19, 2011

The Little Bit...When Less Isn't More

I feel all relationshipy today so I thought I would continue another thought one of the the besties and I had. For some reason this bestie and I always talk about relationships. It could be either one of us don't have one at the moment, or I just love hearing all about her dating adventures. I mean she is a dater and her dates range the gamut--one dude who foams at the mouth?? One dude who brings his own coffee to Starbucks, so he orders a Venti hot water?? Yeah bestie has some pretty interesting stories. I could probably blog about her all day. Honesty I could. She always stops mid sentence and says, "oh Tiff you can blog about that." I laugh, but then open the memo app on my phone and swype the idea down quickly. This is one of those quickies...

We've been bamboozled. Somewhere in the exchange less has become better. The less money you have the more help you can get from a system intended to keep you in a system. The less clothes you wear the more exotic you feel and empowered you believe yourself to be. The less he gives, more you believe he loves. The less you hours and days we work, the more we desire. The less time we have, the more we fall away.

In all things, less by no means is more. Less is in fact, well, less. By definition the word less can be an adverb or an adjective which means it can add to the meaning of a verb or describe the degree of situation. But one thing both means have in common is the first definition: [to a] smaller extent, amount, degree. Less is small in amount and degree. We have accepted the small amount of thought as grand and the small about of degree as exceptional.

For instance, in a relationship is has become a common practice to accept less in all categories. The less can be applied to any part of the relationship: less attention, less time, less commitment, less personality, less values, less morals, less responsibilities, less, less, less. In common perception is less is better than none. Yet what one fails to realize that the less is none because all of the lesses (yeah I made up a word--I can do that!!) still never make up one. It is impossible to have 1/3 of anything and still be considered complete. No, it's not done; it's not whole. It's not one. You can't add particles to get a crumb and why in the world would you want just a crumb? I'm baffled.

Honesty, life is more than piecing crumbs together to make a meal. When funds are in between and groceries low, this is MORE than acceptable. But when you are dating and looking for something everlasting, an erroneous grievance has taken place. Even in your temporal pleasures, which we all grow out of, be honest, you don't what a piece of a anything. You most likely wanted the whole but gave in to the less just to be able to say you had a small portion, i.e. less. No one is every completely happy in a temporary situation because it was not made to be permanent. It was never intended for you to capitalize on that moment and grow roots. It can by as a, as my girl Queen says, this ain't what you want, situation--walk away!! Every person on our path is not meant to be our travel companion. Say hello and keep walking.

The norm has become the acceptance of less because we don't want enough anymore. It used to be that if we couldn't have it all we would walk away, worth and value still in tack. But now we cling to less. Devalued, broken, and completely lying to ourselves.

The gig is up. The cover is blown. Until I have more, I want nothing at all...


  1. One who accepts lesser as the road to acceptance, love, as one's very own identity can never live within the fullness of ones own possiblities.

  2. Anonymous, I must agree. In fullness there is no lack.