She didn't lift her head. Just went on nibbling the cheese off the wax paper. It wasn't that fresh gooey cheeseburger cheese either. This cheese had time to get harden to a cold clump. The burger had been in my bag for about two hours. I bought fresh from the drive through but got so caught up grading papers I'd forgot I had it stashed on top of all the other forgotten items in my purse. There was no way I was going to carry a cheeseburger into the office. My internal eyes knew someone would see this plus sized frame and give the side eye. A small slip of the mental conversation he or she wanted to have with me. Yeah all of this was going through my head as I watched her diligently eat it all. I had to stop myself from starring but of course it was too late.
She felt my eyes glued to her actions and looked up at me.
"Sorry. Didn't eat today. Been busy," she said in a cracked smile. More like a few days I wanted to say. But of course politeness was a necessity at the moment.
"Don't apologize Miss Kendra. You're hungry. Eat." I slid the unopened soda her way as well. Then dug through my bag for the chips I knew were somewhere in there. Lip gloss. Gum. Mascara--that's where it was.
Finally grasping the plastic baggie I passed them off to her. She was hesitant at for a split second. The "I really don't need your leftovers lady" look on her face said it all. I tried to look neutral, if there is such a look. I had no clue what was going on with this girl and at this point there was no way I would let her go hungry in my presence. I once heard that you can't meet a someone at his/her need if you don't define the need. Hers at the moment was food. No talking. Just feed her.
I fought off the urge to find every morsel of food I had in my shared adjunct office. I didn't want the "look" to return. In no way did I want to offend Miss Kendra. I did want to help her in with whatever she was dealing with at the moment. Plus the big girl in me didn't wanna show her all my secrets even though I carried them on my mere being everyday.
The silence felt like five minutes but looking at my faded gold tone watch--God I need to replace this old thing--I knew it only had been a minute at max. I struggled for the right conversation starter. I couldn't just come out and ask her what she wanted in blunt terms. Or could I?
"I need help," she said in an undeniable voice of hurt and pain.
"Okay. What kind of help do you need."
"Every kind."
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So this is all that I have thus far. Not sure where it is going. But I maybe on my ride home tonight I the muse might revisit!
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