Thursday, May 21, 2009

Neti Pot

So my aunt decided it would be a good idea for me to try this old technique of "cleaning" my nasal passages in order to breathe better, yada, yada, yada! I the little nose tea pot and follow the directions. Instantly I feel like I'm drowning! I know its funny as hell! I panic and drop the stupid thing in the sink and all it a D.A.Y. (gotta say it all spelled out!) My eyes are red and my nose is burning and I can't breathe! This was my second tine trying this thing. Needless to say either I don't know what the heck I'm doing or I don't know what the heck I'm doing! I sleep horrible last night! I was so congested, I tossed all night---damn neti pot!

But this morning I got to know I feel the way my life is at the moment--congested! We only have final exams left and I am have been up to my eyeballs grading those last papers and assignments. The last three whole days have been spent in meetings that last allllllllll day. I haven't been able to get what I need accomplished. Then I go home to work on the basement. I spent the last two nights painting, which I don' mind. But I might change my mind cause I can see a callous forming on my hand--damn! Gotta get a manicure now! Can't have rough hands--I'm a lady!

I'm just ready to be done with everything--work, home renovations, people, everything! I know most people say, "your a teacher you get the whole summer off!" Damnit I deserve it! People have no clue how exhausting it can be to work with teens and their issues and their parents, especially their parents. I don't teach a subject that I can leave at work--I teach English, specially writing classes. All I do is grade papers! Now I'm not complaining, I LOVE what I do and would not change it for the world, but damn I'm tired!

Saturday, May 9, 2009

I Normally Don't Do This....


I really don't blog on the weekends. Usually it's during the work week in between classes and grading papers. But today I have had enough! For the most part my weekends are relax and calm but today was a new one! I have had an attitude from hell. Seriously. Pure devil created! I sleep well last night, got up early this morning, got dressed and went to make a run and then the levees broke! As I walked to my car I noticed the garbage was everywhere! I normally put the garbage can in the garage because I live in a wooded area and the raccoons love my trash. But I didn't take the trash out. A friend who was over last night took it out for me and I specifically told him to put the can in the garage after you put the trash in it. Guess he didn't hear me. I had to pick up trash this morning! Felt like I had to scrub my hands 15 times. I was soooo pissed! When he called me I had to calm my rage and tell him in a kind voice--"hey if you so happen to take the trash out for me again and you be sure to place the trash can in the garage?" I guess my kind voice worked cause he was apologetic.

Oh but it doesn't end here. I get back home and Old Fame calls. I had just made me some breakfast and was ready to chow. I was excited to hear from him, but then he went there! I'm asthmatic and the cool air can sometimes do funky stuff to my breathing so I was wheezing when I answered the phone. I give him the spill and tell him I gotta get in to see my doc cause my inhaler ran out. Then he started fussing at me about it. I flipped out! I am so tired of people telling me to do this and do that, call here, so see this and make an appt for that! Get off my ass!!! He was just icing on the cake..our "spat" escalates and we both are pissed. He says bye I say so what! And we haven't talked all day! I know my rage was displaced.

But wait it gets sweeter! The construction guy for my basement is taking his effing time and did not show up yesterday. Now I understand that time is money! I am so frustrated with him I could scream! By 6PM he had done a 360 and so much had been done but that doesn't take away the fact that I am pissed at him.

So I needed this blog today to calm me down and to release the red and take in the blue.

What a day!

Friday, May 8, 2009

Being a Better Me

So I haven't been the best person I could be. (side note--have you noticed I tend to start each entry off with the word so?? Kinda funny to me being the English teacher and knowing every time I do start my sentences in that manner they are not complete sentences, only fragments, more specifically a dependent clause--relies on the other portion of the sentence in order to function properly--I know the nerd in me comes out every now and then.) I made it up in my mind at the mid of February that I really wanted to make some positive changes--the annual clean the closet. Get rid of some of the people who mean me know good. Make better financial choices concerning my house, education, and general spending. Concentrate on my writing. Make better plans when it comes to my daily teaching and the PR job. These are just a few areas I really wanted to focus in on. And as I reflect back, at this moment I'm not being the best I can be. I know we all have the tendency to be much more harder on ourselves than we should but this is not the case.

I gotta step up my game. I'm totally off my square and in this day and age one decision come be a costly mistake. I do give myself some credit with my house. I got the roof fixed--had a horrible pest problem--damn raccoons, and the work on the basement started last week. Of course I had a major push in these areas to get the work done--my family! My mom and siblings are moving into my house. She works for a Fortune 500 company who is doing rolling layoffs and things are tight. She tried putting her house on the market but it was just not going for the price it should--damn housing bubble--so she is renting it out. I am happy that I can be in a position to help her which I know she would do for me. We choose her house to rent out because only minor repairs need to be done. Mine on the other hand, needs a few major projects--renovating the kitchen and bath the top two. Our overall goal is to get both houses in market condition in the next two years so we can sell them and buy a large one together. Secretly I'm hoping that my time in Midwest IL will be over by then and I can sell and get the hell outta dodge! Warmer winters have been calling my name in the distance....shhh...I can hear them now........Tiffany....Tiffany

I can also give myself some credit for my job. I have gotten much better at organization and keeping my lesson plans this moment it may look appear to be true looking at the mound of crazzap on my desk! But to my defense I just made the mess today! I'mma clean it off before I leave school...looking at the clock I had better hurry because the bell rings in 15 mins!!! (Not gonna happen--I'll stay late---maybe!) I use the say system for my high school kids as I do my college courses--a syllabus which is planned out a month at a time. It seems to keep me on track.

Now is where I have fallen, money, money! I can be honest and say I didn't take after my mother's frugal and budget mind! I tend to spend whatever I can. I have very little in my savings and if something catastrophic where to happen today I would be screwed. Seriously! I maintain well but I have got to get a reserve. I think I need shopper's anonymous--really I do. And I'm being honest at that. I don't need an occasion to buy..I just do. And I don't buy all the time for myself--my family, friends, etc....I know there is a root to this issue but I have yet to figure it out....

So at the end of the school year I would have to grade myself with a D- I firmly feel the negativity of the money issue outweighs the positives I have done....I have got to become a better me...

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Counting Down the Days

In ten days I will be driving to Minnesota to see Old Flame. I'm so excited about it and a little nervous too. The nerves come because I haven't seen in so long. Of course I've seen pictures and he looks the same, a little bit buffer, but the same. But to physically get to see me and in person be able to talk to him is going to feel soooo good. And of course maybe the other thing might happen!!!! I went out and bought him a gift; some Ed Hardy cologne. It smells soo manly! I knew it was the one, not only because I liked the smell but because it did something to me! I instantly felt exotic!

But I have soo many feelings and thoughts running through my mind right now, I can't even focus or make sense of it all. I just know that I am going to take my time and not rush into anything...

Monday, May 4, 2009

Summer Plans

I know it's quite a bit of time away before it can officially become summer--but I'ma teacher and I plan ahead! This year I really wanna focus on doing what I wanna do--seriously the past few summers have been while a challenge with my brother's death, then grad school two summers in a row. So I really want this one to be special. So here is what I have planned:

#1 Work on my national board certification. National board certification would allow me to teach at any school in the nation plus they give you a stipend of 5 grand for the first 5 fives you are certified. Because I wanna get my Phd I think this is the best option. I would love to attend UNC at Chapel Hill. They have the number one English program in the nation. But the likelihood of me getting into that program is slim! On GP imma go for it, but I am not expecting to be accepted into the program. I know that sounds crazy, but it's a sense of realty to me. I know what I can and can not do! But I am willing to try! So my back-up is to go to UNC at Greensboro! In the end, my degree will still say UNC!!!! So in order to make sure I would still have a j.o.b. anywhere I go, I gotta go for the National Board Cert. The best part of it is I have a few friends to go through the process with me. We can do a projects together so I'm really looking forward to it.

#2 WRITE!! Yes I gotta get the fingers clickin'! Since my class graduate class I haven't wrote for pleasure (which was August). I have a novel that has been in the works for about five years or so. Started in college and then used part of it for a creative writing project in grad school. My professor loved it and told me to seriously pursue I'm gonna take her advice and get to writing. I plan to spend the summer writing no matter where I go, my laptop will go with me! I know that writing can be my bread & butter if I work it right!!! I'm a firm believer of the Word..God has given us all the power to obtain wealth!!

So there are my summer plans...